Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Fairy Spam

So my friend Marie IMs me today , and shows me this link... I just thought it was so randomly hilarious... Like just thinking about it, if you actually ground up a Unicorn into meat patty... it would just bleed Glitter and Sparkles.... And also, who the hell would eat that? It's like Spam for fairies....

So among more research on this product, I came across this article on

Pâté is passé. Unicorn - the new white meat.

Excellent source of sparkles!

Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn.

As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

Savory Unicorn & Heirloom Tomato Bruchetta Recipe

  • 14 ounce can of Unicorn Meat
  • 6 or 7 ripe plum tomatoes (about 1 1/2 lbs)
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
  • 6-8 fresh basil leaves, chopped.
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
  • 1 baguette French bread or similar Italian bread
  • 1/4 cup olive oil

Chop the tomatoes and mix with garlic, olive oil, vinegar, salt, pepper and basil leaves. Toss well. Slice baguettes on the diagonal about 1/2" thick. Brush each slice with olive oil and add a full rounded tablespoon of Unicorn Meat, spreading over each piece. Toast in a 450 degree directly on over rock for 5-6 minutes. Do a little funky dance by yourself until it's toasted. Serve with tomato mixture and some flaming Absinthe.

Radiant Farms Canned Unicorn Meat Specifications

  • Limited availability
  • 14 ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience
  • Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland
  • Crunchy horn bits in every bite - an excellent source of Calcium
  • Tastes like rotisserie chicken but with a hint of marshmallow sweetness
  • Easily spreadable for sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, and more
  • Sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties
  • Unlike other meats, unicorn fat is polyunsaturated and lowers your LDL cholesterol
  • Not yet approved by the USDA or FDA, but the nuns have eaten it for centuries and they're healthy as horses

and Yes Folks, you can buy yourself some Unicorn Meat right on that site for $9.99!!


Anonymous said...

I saw this! I think the people from Regretsy posted it. Too funny!!!
Are you reading your book?
I just started last night. I can't wait to get home and read some more.

Justina said...

I'm going to start House of Dolls... I didn't get Practical Magic or Garden Spells in the mail yet... hopefully they get here sometime this week! And check my blog in about a half an hour ! I am going to post something

Celia said...

This is too funny.....very strange.....I think I'll pass on the Unicorn meat!

Justina said...

HAHAH!!! LOL yea it looks kinda gross

Faerie Moon Creations said...

Wow - I thought I had seen it all! LOL Gotta love that glitter - and recipes. Like I! LOL Theresa

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm...not sure about the unicorn meat...kind of saw your comment about the book. I posted a review of The Sugar Queen (Sarah Addison's next book) and loved it!

Justina said...

LOL!!! cool , i just ordered Garden Spells off amazon like a week ago, I can't wait for it to come in !!!

Papillon Bleu said...